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50 Shades of Gravy 21 Aug 2013 | 07:38 pm

Obviously, when laying an assistant librarian on a bed of shredded cabbage, before applying the carrots it is advisable to consider which would be the best shade of gravy to have in your ladle in read...

Common Law 16 Aug 2013 | 07:11 pm

Several (at the latest count – nearly one) of my interlocutors have expressed surprise - and wonder - at the point I raised recently in the snug of The Pervert's Appendage. However, putting that to on...

Pride and Perversion 15 Aug 2013 | 12:35 pm

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a large endowment must be in want of an eager village hall orgy partner. Of course, this, Jane Austen's original opening to ...

Pirates and Perversions 8 Aug 2013 | 05:57 pm

Sometimes, hard as it may seem (and I know it does seem quite firm at the moment), there comes a time when the denizens of Little Frigging look for something beyond the usual village orgies and seek o...

The Erotic Uses of the Cucumber 6 Aug 2013 | 06:02 pm

Of course, one of the most important erotic uses of the cucumber in a village hall orgy setting, is – obviously – as a filling for the half-time sandwiches. A function for which the cucumber is also a...

The Use of the Watermelon in a Village Hall Orgy Context 30 Jul 2013 | 03:58 pm

Even so, people these days do not seem to be aware of just how much things have changed since the introduction of the watermelon to the village orgy. Back in the immediate post-war years, of course, t...

Sex Spatula Manipulation and the Modern Age 21 Jul 2013 | 03:53 pm

Back in the days of yore, of course, a knight would often show the lady of his choice the full length of his lance before asking for her favour. These days at the mid-week orgy in the local village ha...

Taking the Proffered Item 20 Jul 2013 | 04:03 pm

Of course, taking any proffered pineapple before it has been prepared by the volunteers providing the catering at your local village hall orgy can sometimes be somewhat of an enlightening experience, ...

Kneading the Cake Shop Manageress 14 Jul 2013 | 03:57 pm

Of course, any gentleman who feels that he is in danger of not rising to the occasion should immediately – or as fast as the village hall orgy timetable allows – put himself firmly (or not, as is ofte...

Trifling with the Affections 16 Jun 2013 | 03:31 pm

Of course, every fully-upstanding eroticician or perverteer knows of the erotic delights of the pudding from merely trifling with someone's affections right up to and including the Pineapple Inquiry. ...

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