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UNDER CONSTRUCTION 19 Nov 2012 | 12:21 pm
Please check back in 2013 — if the world has not ended. If the world does end before then, you are off the hook.
Twas the Night Before the Night Before Christmas 26 Dec 2010 | 08:50 am
‘Twas the night before the night before Christmas, when under the house Something was stirring, probably that damn mouse. The traps were set by the pantry with care, In hopes that the cereal-eating, c...
Canada Suffers Life-Threatening Injuries in Freak Accident, US Donates Oregon 16 Sep 2010 | 11:47 am
ONTARIO, CANADA —In a freak accident late Tuesday night, Canada, the large land mass found to the North of the United States, sustained major injuries and was in critical condition until early this mo...
Technical Difficulties at Miley Concert Disable Auto-Tune: Audience Dicovers She’s Really Belching 10 Sep 2010 | 05:05 am
COLUMBUS, OH — In the heart of the Midwest late Wednesday (a school night!) during her I’m a Big Girl Now, I’ll Do What I Want tour, teen pop sensation Miley Cyrus (aka Hannah Montana) experienced on-...
Christians to Build “Totally Awesome” Church Surrounding Ground Zero Mosque 4 Sep 2010 | 02:53 am
NEW YORK, NY — In a brilliant display of religious freedom, the Christian community has rallied together to raise the funds to build a nondenominational christian center for worship and fitness comple...
Laughter Not Best Medicine, Studies Show 3 Sep 2010 | 08:31 am
PORTLAND, OR — In a startling new study coming out of the Funny Bones & Health Institution of Portland, OR, doctors have discovered that laughter is, in fact, not the best medicine. “Through extensive...
Nation Celebrates Cinco De Mayo For Some Reason 6 May 2010 | 04:33 am
GREAT FALLS, MT—On the fifth day of the fifth month of the year, May 5, today, the entire country joins together in drinking, dancing, and drinking to celebrate the holiday Cinco de Mayo for some sign...
Anthropologist Makes Startling Discovery: “There Are Still Plenty of Mahicans” 30 Apr 2010 | 06:47 am
MADISON, WI —- A local historian and anthropology professor, 53-year-old Franklin Bloom, recently made a startling discovery while shopping for socks at the local Wal-Mart — a discovery that would tur...
Country’s Handicapped Outraged By Healthy, Normal People’s Flagrant Display of Walking 25 Mar 2010 | 04:50 am
CHICAGO, IL—Millions of wheelchair-laden and crutch-clad Americans are voicing their anger about all the other more healthy and normal people’s blatant and flagrant display of discriminatory standing ...
FOX Sues Itself For Copyright Infringement 19 Mar 2010 | 05:01 am
LOS ANGELES, CA — Early Thursday morning Fox Broadcasting Company filed a 200-million-dollar lawsuit against the Fox Broadcasting Company for copyright infringement, saying that “The Cleveland Show is...
