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Scottish satire, politics, media, sport and basically anything Scottish that we can get a cheap gag from... Satirical newspaper and satire magazine covering current affairs, political parody, humour and comedy from Scotland.
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Its funny because its true! (From CouponBook) 20 Aug 2015 12:52 AM (10 years ago)


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This is how The BBC works (apparently) 8 Aug 2015 5:55 AM (10 years ago)

Lead story, England page of the BBC News website...









.
Lead story, UK page of the BBC News website...

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This is why The Darwin Awards exist 11 Jul 2015 11:59 AM (10 years ago)

Apparently he's leaving his current band Rewind, and joining Numpties...




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Almost from "The Gazette". (No, me neither...) 23 Jun 2015 10:06 PM (10 years ago)

Johnstone teacher lands prestigious science gong

Published: 23 Jun 2015 14:40
A JOHNSTONE High School teacher has been awarded a prestigious accolade by the Young Engineers and Science Clubs Scotland.
Making the award, Science minister Fergus Ewing told The JT:
"We rely on educators like Michael to help future scientests research the really big questions like- 'what the fuck is going on with my tie?' and, for that matter,' what the fuck happened to Heather Reid, I mean, she just, like,vanished...'"





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From The Scotsman, but with edit. 21 Jun 2015 11:12 PM (10 years ago)


Ruth Davidson speaks in Edinburgh after the general election. Picture: Jane Barlow
Ms Davidson seen here either speaking or sneaking out a botty burp.One of the two, definitely, I would say...

SCOTTISH Conservative leader Ruth Davidson is today expected to deliver a stark warning to David Cameron and Tory ministers that “more needs to be done” to keep the United Kingdom intact.

Following the SNP’s election victory in Scotland in May, giving them 56 out of 59 Westminster seats, Ms Davidson will use a lecture at the Scotland Office’s Dover House home in Whitehall to suggest that pro-UK politicians are in danger of “falling into the trap of thinking everything is OK” because of the independence referendum result. It is thought that Mr Cameron will issue an immediate response insisting that: "I'm sorry,  did you say something?I'm afraid I wasn't listening..." Ms Davidson will probably go ionto say something else to which Mr Cameron will reply: :"Evs, babes, evs."

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Now then, now then, what's going on here then? 11 Jun 2015 12:08 AM (10 years ago)

Two papers, two stories.
"That's the swag from last night's job sorted then..."




















"Neeving all. No wait that's not right...Eveng all, no that's not it either.. Fuck..."






































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Blimey! 7 Jun 2015 10:40 PM (10 years ago)

From The Scotsman, Euroman Jean-Claude Juncker getting very up close and extremely personal with oor Nicola!


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Almost from The Scotsman 4 Jun 2015 1:27 AM (10 years ago)

Lookit, its easy to see why the SNP government's policy on childcare is unclear.
I mean, just lookit at the policy wonk seen here drafting it...


"There, that's the executive summary all done. Now for juice and a biscuit..."

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Hola! From That Palma, Mallorca 29 May 2015 12:29 AM (10 years ago)

Pens at the ready as The JT presents top tips on the city of Palma what The JT editor has just visited  an' that.


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Just when it was all going so well (From The Skintman) 18 May 2015 1:05 AM (10 years ago)

for The SNP. Tramp in suit offers potential support, requests 10p for a cup of tea...


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Not quite a reverse ferret but close...(From The BBC) 16 May 2015 8:16 AM (10 years ago)


Its easy done given that Jim's not-resigning speech turned 180 degrees into an actually is resigning speech halfway through, but someone at The BBC was caught out...














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And with the news 13 May 2015 7:55 AM (10 years ago)












that this circus school will offer clown-training, the earth shifts on its axis as Dalston, Hoxton and Shoreditch empty of fuckin' hipsters who see being a clown as a vocation and not a personality description...



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"David Mundell to be made Scottish Secretary." 11 May 2015 10:13 PM (10 years ago)

David Mundell, David Mundell? That name rings a bell right enough. Oh wait, now I remember...

http://thejaggythistle.blogspot.co.uk/2009/05/david-stop-digging.html

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This just in... 10 May 2015 2:44 AM (10 years ago)

















And SNP says "Ruth must  just fuck right out of it."

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Payback... 8 May 2015 1:34 AM (10 years ago)


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May the job be with you (From The BBC) 7 May 2015 10:24 AM (10 years ago)

New appointment at National Museum of Scotland, pledges himself to the rebel forces struggle against The Empire...

National Museums Scotland's (NMS) new director of collections has said it is a "privilege" to take on the role.
Dr Xerxes Mazda worked in museums elsewhere in the UK and Canada prior to his appointment, most recently at the Royal Ontario Museum in Toronto.
When not working in museums Dr Mazda moonlights as a minor character in the Star Wars universe. He told The JT: " As someone with many years experience in curation, I feel I bring a special skill to the fight against The Empire alongside the Jedi Knights, Luke Skywalker, Hans Solo and those two metal gay things. But mainly what I bring to the struggle is a proper, Star Wars, made up name. 
Thanks Mum."

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C'mon, everybuddy! Sing alang! (Almost fae Skint on Sunday) 3 May 2015 1:38 AM (10 years ago)


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Sadly, not really new news is it? 1 May 2015 5:11 AM (10 years ago)


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From The Shitsman? 27 Apr 2015 10:08 PM (10 years ago)

Possibly the least advisable facial  expression in the history of the known universe- especially when captioning software is so readily available..


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So David, if you could just 24 Apr 2015 11:53 PM (10 years ago)


confirm just how complete a massive dick you are that would be great...















Thanks for that David, you are clearly quite the complete massive  dick...

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C'mon everybuddy, sing alang! (Fae The Scotsman, naw?) 23 Apr 2015 10:47 PM (10 years ago)

LABOUR’S candidate for the east end of Glasgow has called for a law which criminalised sectarian chanting to be repealed.

Margaret Curran, whose constituency includes Celtic Park, said the Offensive Behaviour at Football Act has done nothing to reduce intolerance and bigotry.

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They went with this... 22 Apr 2015 10:54 PM (10 years ago)


















although this is probably nearer the truth...






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"Opportunity important for those facing imminent job loss" says Willie Rennie 21 Apr 2015 1:42 AM (10 years ago)

Lib-Dem supremo in Scotland ,Willie Rennie, launched his party's Scottish manifesto today, promising a "Scotland of opportunity". 

He told The JT :" I'm looking to build a Scotland where individual entrepreneurship will create the jobs people, especially those facing job loss in the near future can access to get back into work as soon as possible."

It is thought that a Mr N Clegg, of Sheffield and Westminste, is already enquiring as to the availability of cheap one way fares to Scotland after May 7th...

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From The Scotsperson:outright winner,the "No Shit Sherlock" trophy 19 Apr 2015 10:32 PM (10 years ago)

The only yooni where students stand on street corners trying to flog copies of "Capitalist Worker".Probably...



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Its the speech bubble that (almost) writes itself! 16 Apr 2015 10:33 PM (10 years ago)




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