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Portland haikus 21 Apr 2013 | 05:47 pm

Voodoo Doughnuts and Roxy’s pancakes and cheese fries I’m so high right now Shit, this is the park. Where’s the PSU campus? “Downtown” doesn’t help! Waterfront stoners Roaming packs announced by cloud...

We need to talk. 13 Apr 2013 | 05:23 am

Dear Xbox Recommendation Algorithm, Remember when you told me I’d love Legend of Korra based on my love of Adventure Time, and how I’d really dig Sengoku Basara and I was all “Dude, you know it”? I re...

Bullshit! 11 Feb 2013 | 11:59 am

The Grammys: And the best new artist goes to…Fun.! Me: (ノ ಠДಠ)ノ ︵ ┻━┻ I call bullshit. Fun. is made of a bunch of douchebags from already successful douchebag bands. They’re not new or best, they’re o...

Oh. There’s the problem! 10 Feb 2013 | 02:04 pm

I’ve always hated the subtle misogyny included in Valentine’s commercials, particularly Pajamagram and Vermont Teddy Bear. Actually, I hate everything about Valentine’s, but that’s beside the point. I...

I don’t learn. 19 Dec 2012 | 09:52 pm

I always tell myself that I’ll learn to heed the “allow two minutes for cooling” warning on a Hot Pocket next time. I never do. Nobody chooses to eat a Hot Pocket in a moment of erudite consideration,...

Damn it, Pepsi. 14 Dec 2012 | 05:07 pm

I was oh so excited when I saw Pepsi X. I didn’t know what it was, but then I checked the label and was overjoyed when I saw it was dragonfruit. Hell, I’ve added dragonfruit juice to Pepsi before, I k...

McCaskill’s influence 10 Nov 2012 | 12:25 am

If Claire McCaskill hadn’t helped push Akin through the Republican primaries, he’d have never made the legitimate rape comment. If he hadn’t made the legitimate rape comment, Mourdock may have never m...

This is history’s greatest extortion spam. I tip my hat to you, noble Nigerian. 10 Oct 2012 | 08:06 am

From: Dagger Mood Subject: IS YOUR LIFE IMPORTANT TO YOU??????? As I sit here sipping a martini it is my regretful duty to inform you that you have been selected for assassination. I am a professional...

Counter-Strike? Again? 22 Aug 2012 | 07:01 am

The short version is the simple one. Counter-Strike: Global Operations is really fun, and it made CS fun again. It’s weird in that I’d quit CS utterly as of 3-4 years ago. I played some CS:S when it c...

Acts of petty evil 21 Aug 2012 | 09:40 pm

The woman who bagged my groceries this morning did so with malevolent intent. One cold item per bag, a frozen item placed amongst the spices to encourage condensation and inside the packaging, all the...

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