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A Plan to Reduce the Deficit… 17 Oct 2012 | 02:39 am

My plan to reduce the deficit would involve taking the middle piece of bread out of every club sandwich. It doesn’t need to be there. @juliussharpe  

Serious Concussion Leads to Accidental Musical Genius 17 Oct 2012 | 01:00 am

Chris Broughton (photograph by Matt Nager) dove into the shallow end and emerged a genius, literally. At 39, Broughton hit his head after carelessly diving into the shallow end of a pool and was diagn...

Tweet Pick: Sorry, I’m holding out for the Zune Mini. – @RexHuppke 17 Oct 2012 | 12:37 am

Sorry, I'm holding out for the Zune Mini.

Tweet Pick: Just gargled mouthwash all over my shirt. I’d be a horrible homosexual. – @Petey__E 17 Oct 2012 | 12:35 am

Just gargled mouthwash all over my shirt. I'd be a horrible homosexual.

Tweet Pick: Drakkar Noir smells like a reluctant hand job. – @DJRotaryRachel 17 Oct 2012 | 12:34 am

Drakkar Noir smells like a reluctant hand job.

The Smell-O-Phone is Here! 17 Oct 2012 | 12:30 am

Forget Smell-O-Vision, the Smell-O-Phone is here! When a female staff of Japanese company Chaku Perfume lamented that "you can't send smell through a cell phone," the company's tech guys took it as a ...

Tweet Pick: “I went to lunch alone. I ate a salad” is how my suicide note will start. – @Kyle_Lippert 17 Oct 2012 | 12:29 am

"I went to lunch alone. I ate a salad" is how my suicide note will start.

Student perfectly demonstrates how not to forge a note from your mother. 17 Oct 2012 | 12:25 am

So close. Perhaps she could have gotten away with it had she added an extra paragraph that said, "P.S., I myself have a condition that makes it so when I write notes to my daughter's teacher, I adopt ...

Romney vs. Obama: An Epic Rap Battle 17 Oct 2012 | 12:00 am

How about this, instead of another (boring) debate we have a Presidential Rap Battle? The guys are Epic Rap Battle are already ahead of us.Without taking sides, the candidates spit out everything from...

Tweet Pick: Couldn’t finish my plate of breakfast nachos, so now I’m furiously searching WebMD for what ails me. – @Matty_Softmitts 16 Oct 2012 | 11:40 pm

Couldn't finish my plate of breakfast nachos, so now I'm furiously searching WebMD for what ails me.

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