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Parklife - Wednesday 16 May 2013 | 07:57 am
‘Do we sell park homes?’ Asks trainee F, phone cupped ineffectively instead of on hold, as I always keep telling the numbskull. If it’s a home set in a park, I think, yes we’d be delighted - if it’s a...
Big Bang Theory - Thursday 9 May 2013 | 06:29 am
‘Here comes Sheller.’ Announces trainee F with unusual confidence. There’s a long silence, as we look at him, each other, then follow his gaze out into the high street. Assistant manager T sighs then ...
Love Lies Bleeding - Friday 3 May 2013 | 06:06 am
‘These sales figure are just not acceptable.’ Grumbles the bean counter boss, as he clicks his laptop tracker pad angrily. The stark figures flash up on the collapsible screen and there is nowhere to ...
Sound Of Breaking Glass - Sunday 28 Apr 2013 | 06:53 am
Not sure how long this eco-friendly surge will last as I rather despise the worthy, beardy, touchy-feely, all animals should be cherished and not eaten brigade. But I’m off to recycle again. I’m going...
Feeding The Machine - Monday 22 Apr 2013 | 08:54 pm
‘Who the f***k invented breakfast meetings?’ Moans H my short of stature, big of ego, rival manager. He’s gravitated towards me at the large rectangular table in this soulless budget hotel we’re in ag...
Learning Curve - Tuesday 16 Apr 2013 | 09:10 pm
‘Our viewing figures are down.’ I tell the morning meeting with all the relish of a soggy burger left too long on the warmer, waiting for someone who actually wants pickle. ‘There’s no point in taking...
Once Bitten Twice Shy - Thursday 11 Apr 2013 | 07:40 pm
I’m on my way back to the Polish dentist again, teeth deteriorating in tandem with my career. I know I’m going to stick out like a sore thumb in the waiting room once more as the only man in a suit. L...
Turn Round At Earliest Opportunity - Friday 5 Apr 2013 | 07:37 am
‘Not a great day out there.’ Pronounces assistant manger T somewhat superfluously. The rain is cascading down the window in a passable imitation of Victoria Falls and the wind is blowing umbrellas ins...
Not Needed On Journey - Holiday Monday 2 Apr 2013 | 09:11 am
The car is groaning on the springs again. I keep asking for the company to change it but it seems to have developed a mechanical empathy with me – I haven’t given it a pet name or anything, I’m not th...
Muck And Brass - Saturday 30 Mar 2013 | 06:44 am
‘Do we have to do this?’ I whine ungraciously to my wife. ‘Sometimes you have to get down and dirty.’ She replies pulling on the rubber gloves. ‘But I’d rather watch the football.’ I tell her, wonderi...
