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How to Feed the Children 2 Jan 2013 | 06:45 am

UNICEF commercial with Alyssa Milano comes on TV. An overwrought cover of John Lennon's "Imagine" plays over faces of beautiful, sad-faced children. Me: Sometimes she fake-cries like Sallie Struthers...

How to Feed the Children 2 Jan 2013 | 06:45 am

UNICEF commercial with Alyssa Milano comes on TV. An overwrought cover of John Lennon's "Imagine" plays over faces of beautiful, sad-faced children. Me: Sometimes she fake-cries like Sallie Struthers...

Where does he get it? 11 Nov 2012 | 07:57 am

My five-year-old son's artwork: (I'm the furry one with the side-ass. His twin sister is the victim.) I found this on the coffee table one morning, before my first cup of coffee. (that's his name I...

Where does he get it? 11 Nov 2012 | 07:57 am

My five-year-old son's artwork: (I'm the furry one with the side-ass. His twin sister is the victim.) I found this on the coffee table one morning, before my first cup of coffee. (that's his name I...

Things that are not sneakers 9 Nov 2012 | 02:27 am

This morning, I asked my five-year-old daughter to put on sneakers. She was home sick, and I had a lot of driving to do early for work. I told her to keep her snuggly, warm pajamas on, but to add unde...

Things that are not sneakers 9 Nov 2012 | 02:27 am

This morning, I asked my five-year-old daughter to put on sneakers. She was home sick, and I had a lot of driving to do early for work. I told her to keep her snuggly, warm pajamas on, but to add unde...

I graduated and stuff 7 Nov 2012 | 04:04 am

Hi Internet! I missed you more than you missed me. What? What's that? You don't remember me? Yeah, I wouldn't remember me either. I'm a little gloomy and grumpy and spending the evening in my sweatp...

I graduated and stuff 7 Nov 2012 | 04:04 am

Hi Internet! I missed you more than you missed me. What? What's that? You don't remember me? Yeah, I wouldn't remember me either. I'm a little gloomy and grumpy and spending the evening in my sweatp...

Call me Poop Dollar 16 Jul 2012 | 08:00 am

Being a relatively creepy person who regularly makes strangers uncomfortable, I am also very understanding when people act inappropriately. A caveat: I am a judgmental asshole about what types of impr...

Call me Poop Dollar 16 Jul 2012 | 08:00 am

Being a relatively creepy person who regularly makes strangers uncomfortable, I am also very understanding when people act inappropriately. A caveat: I am a judgmental asshole about what types of impr...

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