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Ruined 27 Aug 2013 | 06:46 am

I took my boys to some archaeological ruins this weekend, the theory being that if the place was already ruined, I wouldn’t have to worry about my kids fucking it up. As it turns out, archaeological r...

The Freshman 23 Aug 2013 | 08:34 am

My 7 year old son has always been oddly interested in college, specifically about where he is going to live when he attends. ”I can still live with you, right?”, he asks, with a hint of panic in his v...

Scatterbrained 22 Aug 2013 | 09:19 am

You ever have one of those days when you realize that pretty much every aspect of your life has really good parts balanced against really shitty parts? That’s how I felt today. I was like Woody Allen ...

A Sensible, Yet Profane Post On Guns 21 Aug 2013 | 07:21 am

Another day, another headline about gunplay in an elementary school. In this case, it was an AK-47 wielding man who fired off a bunch of rounds because, yeah, that makes total sense. ”God damn Obama! ...

Fork You 20 Aug 2013 | 08:16 am

One of the great things about the internet is that it gives you access to strange headlines from around the world. I grew up in a rural suburb of Chicago, so I was limited to the headlines from my loc...

Where’s That Confounded Bridge? 16 Aug 2013 | 09:19 am

I was putting some gas in my Jeep this afternoon, when a man at the next pump approached and asked me for directions to a well known road in the area. We then proceeded to get into an argument after I...

Tweet 15 Aug 2013 | 08:00 am

Are you lonely? Is there an empty void in your life that can only be filled by enslaving small woodland creatures? Have multiple lobotomies left you incapable of performing even the most basic of pet ...

Nice Bedside Manners, Asclepius 14 Aug 2013 | 08:14 am

The staff at my doctor’s office has terrible bedside manners. They’re not quite at the point where they poke at open wounds with unwashed hands and laugh, but certainly they could brush up on a few ba...

The (Not Really) Triumphant Return Of Dogs On Drugs 13 Aug 2013 | 03:10 am

For those of you who read this site on a regular basis and have somehow avoided being put on an involuntary 72 hour psychiatric hold, you’ve no doubt noticed that I’ve been mainlining printer toner ta...

Back To School 31 Jul 2013 | 08:47 am

I just got done with my 7 year old son’s back-to-school shopping, which I did without him. He goes to a school that requires uniforms as well as standard school supplies, such as red folders, green fo...

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