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Elvis Hasn't Left The Building 17 Jul 2012 | 03:07 am

Elvis Presley was one of the most popular American singers of the 20th century. With his commanding voice and charismatic stage presence, he rose from humble circumstances to launch a rock and roll re...

Science Destroyed My Childhood 25 Jun 2012 | 04:08 pm

All across the globe, scientists are hard at work; discovering more and more about the world around us. They're making miraculous breakthroughs in fields such as astronomy, genetics, and medicine. But...

A Friendly Game Of Peek-A-Boo 4 Jun 2012 | 12:32 pm

When I was a kid, I did some really weird shit. For example, I'd tie yarn around dolls' necks, lynch them over our staircase, and leave them hanging for my mom to discover. I also liked to turn off al...

That's So Not Gay: A Funny Rant 18 May 2012 | 01:27 am

Well that's gay. That's soooo gay. That's like totes uber gay. Bleh. You have no idea how many times I hear that awful phrase. It's so insulting. How are people so inconsiderate? I mean, we should sta...

What To Do When On The Toilet 8 May 2012 | 02:46 pm

I was in the middle of watching "Yo Gabba Gabba"... which isn't creepy at all... when suddenly I had an urge to go to the bathroom. I became furious. Not only must I now abandon my dancing puppet frie...

It's Official: I'm A Sleep Moaner 19 May 2011 | 06:53 am

Two years ago, I woke up in my dorm to find my roommate, and several of his friends, hovering over my bed. Each one of them had a huge, suspicious grin. Naturally, I thought they had sharpied a dingdo...

I Can't Talk: I'm On The Phone 14 May 2011 | 03:44 pm

Since its creation in 1973, the cellphone has been saving the world from awkward situations. I mean, imagine you're hauling ass across campus back to your dorm the night after a crazy party. You see a...

3 Bizarre New Years Traditions 31 Dec 2010 | 08:34 pm

I've concluded that every single New Years tradition originates from lunatics. I mean, seriously, people do some really bizarre shit when they celebrate. Here in America, people get drunk, make out, b...

I Don't Have The Time 13 Aug 2010 | 11:26 am

About a year ago, my boyfriend bought me this really neat Spider-Man watch. It was clearly designed for a 10-year-old, but even so, I loved it and wore it all the time. Unfortunately, one day it ended...

Pole Dancing For Babies 7 Aug 2010 | 06:50 am

While browsing the Internet, I stumbled across a highly disturbing article. The article, believe it or not, is about a Canadian company that offers pole dancing classes for girls nine years of age and...

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