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The Motormouths 27 Aug 2013 | 03:42 am

Tell me if this sounds familiar. You are at a party. Your date is either in the bathroom or imaginary. Somehow, you have been roped into a one-on-one conversation with your host in a remote corner of ...

Yankee Doodle Smelly 19 Aug 2013 | 11:45 pm

Do you smell that? No? That’s strange, because I’m holding it right under your nose. Here, let me help you out by shoving it into your face. Oh, wait – the lid’s still on. One second. By now, you’ve p...

Don’t Ask 12 Aug 2013 | 10:42 pm

I have a question. But you wouldn’t know it. That’s because my adult male brain has apparently decided to replace the emotions associated with “asking a stranger a question” with those of “balancing o...

The Quitting Game 5 Aug 2013 | 12:32 pm

I quit. No, I’m not talking about my tortilla chip and ranch dressing habit (that is currently in a nice downward death-spiral). I’m talking about an addiction that is far more dangerous. I’m talking ...

Green Gardens 25 Jun 2013 | 02:23 am

There are certain things about yourself that you don’t find out until you are a grown adult. For instance, there are no High School Yearbook Superlative Categories for “Best Tax Return” or “Most Likel...

Fathers & Spasms 18 Jun 2013 | 08:53 am

In honor of Father’s Day, I would like to talk about something that is very near and dear to my heart: DadSpasms. What are DadSpasms, you ask? DadSpasm describes the emotional state that accompanies a...

One If By Land, Two If By Beef 10 Jun 2013 | 11:51 pm

Do you like beef? How about…super beef? If the answer is “Yes” or “Maybe” or “Huh?” to the above questions, I have got the place for you. Picture this: you’re fighting rush hour traffic to get home so...

The Poisonwood Garage 3 Jun 2013 | 11:14 pm

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, what is a cluttered garage a sign of? A future career in junk appraisal reality television? Advanced onset dementia? Both? Let’s take the grand tour....

The Walking Deadlock 20 May 2013 | 07:28 pm

Where did all these people come from? I know our world population is currently at 7.086 billion, but, I mean… What the fudge? I can’t even go for a leisurely stroll anymore without feeling like I’m at...

Hickory Dickory Cat 14 May 2013 | 02:44 am

Are you a heavy sleeper? Do you find ordinary alarm clocks to be ineffective and even insipid? Would you like to begin each day by having a glass of water dumped on your head, thereby jolting you awak...

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