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Hickory Dickory Cat 13 May 2013 | 07:44 pm
Are you a heavy sleeper? Do you find ordinary alarm clocks to be ineffective and even insipid? Would you like to begin each day by having a glass of water dumped on your head, thereby jolting you awak...
The Big Spill 3 May 2013 | 01:24 pm
In the brief time I’ve been alive on this giant watery marble, I’ve come to appreciate two maxims. One: I like ponds. Two: Life is messy. The first maxim took me nearly twenty-eight years to appreciat...
The Goose of the Baskervilles 29 Apr 2013 | 08:00 pm
I’m being chased by a goose. Not just any goose, either. I’m being chased by a Canadian Goose, which is the rabid hyena of the goose kingdom (I guess the Canadian Government is pouring so many tax dol...
New Cat 22 Apr 2013 | 06:12 pm
It’s a girl! At least, I think it’s a girl. That’s a girl, right? OK, yes, it’s a girl. Wife and I are at worldwide pet store franchise, GloboPet (name changed to keep Big Pet off my case), picking up...
The Good, the Bad, and the Moldy 15 Apr 2013 | 05:56 pm
Everyone has a dark side. Some people pee on the toilet seat. Others tell their friends that the movie “Something Borrowed” was really good and they should definitely buy the thirty dollar high defini...
At the Markets of Madness 8 Apr 2013 | 04:32 pm
Dawn. The air is frozen. The reeds and rushes stand stiffly at attention as the narcoleptic sun limps over the horizon, illuminating that great expanse of brick and mortar – the linoleum battlefield –...
Modern Callar 18 Mar 2013 | 07:48 pm
What’s black and white and growls like a tiger? If you guessed tiger, you’re wrong. Besides, there’s no such thing as a black and white tiger. Wait, is there? Let me google that real quick. Ah. I stan...
Dodge City 4 Mar 2013 | 11:58 pm
Have you ever wondered what elementary school gym class would have been like if everyone was on steroids? No? Oh. Well, I have. At least, I used to, until Wife and I joined an adult dodgeball league. ...
Bleak Bus 25 Feb 2013 | 04:33 pm
It’s a great day to be alive. The sun is shining; birds are chirping; everything seems to be in its right place. That’s when I climbed on the bus. There’s something about riding the bus that I can’t q...
Snow Falling on Shovels 11 Feb 2013 | 05:39 pm
I’m an idiot. I know this probably does not come as a surprise, especially to those of you who have been reading this thing since the very beginning, but it had to be said. Why? Because knowing that I...
