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Cubs Week In Review: Sharknado strikes again 27 Aug 2013 | 05:43 am
Record: 2-5 (1-3 vs. Washington, 1-2 vs. San Diego) The week of confusion began with an 11-1 drubbing of the Nationals powered by five long balls (two by Nate Schierholtz, who also drove in a career ...
Viciedo changes name from Dayan to ‘more manly’ Chelsea 26 Aug 2013 | 11:00 pm
White Sox outfielder Dayan Viciedo informed the team that he has legally changed his first name from Dayan to Chelsea. The Cuban-born outfielder said he chose a new name because he was tired of Engli...
Central banking system collapses as all Packers fans sell team stock at the same time 26 Aug 2013 | 07:30 pm
World markets were plunged into absolute chaos Mnoday as Packers fans all across the world tried to sell off their shares in the struggling team. The move was sparked amidst speculation that the Packe...
Cubs successfully avoid ‘creepy’ San Diego mayor during Padres series 26 Aug 2013 | 06:15 pm
Cubs management announced after Sunday evening’s 15-inning loss to the Padres that the team successfully avoided the outgoing mayor of San Diego during their entire weekend series in the Southern Cali...
Bears looking for polite way to tell Ditka to stay away 25 Aug 2013 | 08:00 pm
While the Bears were pleased with the appearance of Mike Ditka at practice this week, they are expressing concern now that the ex-coach had gotten the wrong idea as to his role with the team. It has ...
After trading DeJesus, Cubs looking for player with hottest wife 24 Aug 2013 | 08:00 pm
Beautiful Wrigley Field got a lot less beautiful when David DeJesus got traded this week, meaning no more sightings of his beautiful wife Kim. And the Cubs are well aware of this.. “Let’s face it, t...
NFL solves concussion problem by blocking ESPN from doing documentary about brain injuries 23 Aug 2013 | 10:00 pm
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell declared victory over concussions today after blocking ESPN from co-producing a documentary about head trauma with PBS. “By preventing our billion-dollar broadcast part...
NFL reaches historic $1 billion mark in defensive player fines 23 Aug 2013 | 09:00 pm
Commissioner Roger Goodell announced that the fine levied on Bears linebacker Jon Bostic earlier this week put the NFL over the $1 billion mark for penalties against defensive players. Most of the fin...
Cubs donate Castro to 1-877-Kars-4-Kids 23 Aug 2013 | 08:15 pm
The Cubs donated shortstop Starlin Castro to 1-877-Kars-4-Kids, the 501(c) (3) charity, pending league approval. Castro has regressed severely after having a batting average of .300 in 2010, his rooki...
What have your favorite Blackhawks players done with the Stanley Cup? 23 Aug 2013 | 07:15 pm
Your 2013 NHL Champion Chicago Blackhawks were certainly characters on the ice. Naturally, you are probably wondering what all those guys are doing with the Stanley Cup? The Heckler is here to help. ...
