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Self-Deprecation Dos and Don’ts 26 Aug 2013 | 11:16 pm

DON’T: Be self-deprecating in a facebook post. The only possible results are significantly more un-satisfying than just having low self esteem alone, without the internet. You’ll either get 1) lip ser...

Special Category Winners at the VMA’s 26 Aug 2013 | 07:30 am

Best person who just discovered Gwen Stefani: Miley Cyrus Best straight dude taking a silent moment to anticipate applause from GLBT audience: Macklemore Most overt about being the next Michael Jack...

If Women’s Magazines’ Promises Were Edited by Lawyers 19 Aug 2013 | 06:36 pm

30 Quick, Fresh Recipes. When prepared correctly and consumed with a low-calorie diet, supplemented by exercise, could promote weight loss! Burn 300* calories the fun, new way. *Calorie burn varies d...

Five Fantasies to Motivate Your Summer Run 16 Aug 2013 | 10:10 pm

Bear Apocalypse A variation on the zombie virus, bearitis is sweeping North America. It’s like any zombie plague, except instead of bitten folk turning into drooling, brain-gobbling sickies, they tur...

Is Facebook Going to the Crazies? 16 Aug 2013 | 09:20 pm

Over the last few days, Ruby Karp has been getting a lot of traction with her post “I’m 13 and none of my friends use Facebook.” Here are four reasons why the post has been catching fire: It’s concis...

Creepypasta: Why Would Cartoons Make You Kill Yourself? 14 Aug 2013 | 07:13 pm

The origin of the horror story is the nightmare. Our dreams are populated by what we consume, so it’s fair to say many of us have dreams involving fictional characters as long as we spend an adequate...

Five Reasons Why Ms. Frizzle Is Obviously a Weasley 14 Aug 2013 | 03:29 am

1. She’s a ginger. The most notable thing about the Weasley family aside from a) the fact that they can do magic and b) they’re, like, super poor, is their fiery red locks. Valerie Frizzle is inarguab...

Top 10 Reasons to Still Wear Teva Flip Flops Despite Ridicule From Flip Flop Haters 13 Aug 2013 | 08:18 am

1. They are made out of a magical, miraculous substance that conforms to the exact shape of your feet, making them insanely comfortable. 2. All that comfort, only $25. 3. The tan lines. So intricate...

A No-Nonsense Guide to Analyzing Your Dreams 12 Aug 2013 | 06:43 am

If you dreamt about: Losing a tooth: You are horrible to your body and you know it, you drunk. And you smoke way too much. Hooking up with someone of the same sex: You are a little bit gay. That’s o...

Ten Shampoo Brands That Sound Like Aliens Swearing in “Star Wars” 12 Aug 2013 | 12:27 am

Fructis! Jhirmack! Gud! TIGI! Prell! Rusk! Aveeno! Fekkai! CHI! Pssssst! - Jay Gabler The post Ten Shampoo Brands That Sound Like Aliens Swearing in “Star Wars” appeared first on The Tangen...

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